1. |
Blue
02:42
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it starts out
in a place that I would much rather not be
sitting here stuck in the same routine
always waiting for a change
but never being able to rearrange
I've been looking at life
through a pair of eyes with a dismal point of view
I search for any sign as to why life feels so dull
but I don't have a clue
all the colors fade, the spectrum stays the darkest shade of blue
I've shelled it out
the last ounce of passion that I've somehow felt
the time I've invested
I know soon I will melt into the floor
and I'll exist but nothing more
cause I've been looking at life
through a pair of eyes with a dismal point of view
I search for any sign as to why life feels so dull
but I don't have a clue
all the colors fade, the spectrum stays the darkest shade of blue
time to kill, or is it killing me?
cause I can feel a lack of interest in everything
my joy, it flees
and now my spirit's low
a gentle breeze is sweeping me below
as the colors fade, the spectrum stays the darkest shade of blue
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2. |
Square One
03:31
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uncertainty runs through my veins every day
finding so many ways to control me
and my inability to create
afraid that it will never be worthwhile
I’ve grown so fucking tired and dull from sitting around
got disheartened by the sound of my own voice
as if I’ve been talking shit to myself
I guess I fell further than imagined
somehow I get caught in the wake
every day, of my flaws
to find out how I function,
I’ll dissect myself
what the hell’s going on?
what’s going on with me?
I can’t see the point in anything when
all that I do is give up
cause I’m losing my grip on this
as if I ever had it to begin with
a lowered sense of confidence is such a major setback
somehow I get caught in the wake
every day, of my flaws
to find out how I function,
I’ll dissect myself
what the hell’s going on?
oh no, I thought I made so much progress
I’m coming undone
in self sabotaging,
I’ve fallen off track, headed back to square one
I'm headed back
now I'm headed back
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3. |
Playing the Part
03:26
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temporize
I play a vicious game with time
until it catches up, so I bide
this is how I survive
rarely ever go out, indifferent and lazy
and tired as hell, there’s no point in believing
that I will get better somehow
cause I’ve been so detached for a while
why does it seem like I’m just playing the part?
is this truly how I feel in my heart?
so I’ve resigned, stepped out of position
it’s not my time, don’t think it ever will be
I’ve gotten so good at hiding what shouldn’t be kept inside
this remains a recurring problem
and I’m to blame, but until I solve it
I can’t relax
cause too many things fell off track
can’t get them back
why does it seem like I’m just playing the part?
is this truly how I feel in my heart?
I keep my distance, avoid everyone
cause it’s easy for me to withdraw
from everything that I’m invested in
like I never connected at all
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4. |
Comfortable
02:56
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I’ve been told
that the amount of time I spend alone is concerning
but my only concern is being alone
by myself, I know that it may not be healthy
but I’m just comfortable secluding
it feels like second nature to me
reduce to a form that’s just a bit more discrete
and everybody wants to be around you but you’re too much of an introvert
never being straight up, always have to give an answer that is blurred
unsure
no words
you only hurt yourself
placing distance between
you and the people that you care for
cause you’re so full of shit
inconsiderate
you can’t expect to make amends
if you can’t bridge the gap
secluding, it feels like second nature to me
reduce to a form that’s just a bit more discrete
and everybody wants to be around you but you’re too much of an introvert
never being straight up, always have to give an answer that is blurred
unsure
no words
you only hurt yourself
I don’t want to be around you
even when I want to
I don’t want to be around you
even when I need to
I’ve been told
that the amount of time I spend alone is concerning
but my only concern is being alone
by myself, I know that it may not be healthy
but I’m just comfortable
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5. |
Joy
05:26
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nervous, but so calm on the surface
I’ve gotten good at acting and keeping my cool
patient; but I’m sick of being vacant
it’s out of my hands but it’s taking a toll
and in my head, I keep saying to myself
that I am happy in my skin and I’ve figured myself out
it feels like every time joy finds me
I spit in its face and walk away
then isolate my being
a brain that’s overflowing with negativity
usually has trouble welcoming a good thing
stop looking for distractions
you’re never happy anyway, you know
disengage with temporary substance in the hope
that something changes soon, although you know it won’t
cause in my head, I keep saying to myself
that I am happy in my skin and I’ve figured myself out
cause it feels like every time joy finds me
I spit in its face and walk away
then isolate my being
a brain that’s overflowing with negativity
usually has trouble welcoming a good thing
bracing for the outcome
to see how this will unfold
or if I’ll be swallowed whole
cause it feels like every time joy finds me
I spit in its face and walk away
then isolate my being
a brain that’s overflowing with negativity
usually has trouble welcoming a good thing
I’m in trouble
I don’t need to be here
but I feel that it’s my fault entirely
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Safe Bet Chicago, Illinois
chi
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